Father of the Bride

October 25, 2010 is the wedding day of my eldest daughter, Ligaya. I was asked to give a remark for the bride's side. I prepared some notes, however, was unable to use it because the light at hall 1 of Grandcon was at party setting, quite dim for me. So I delivered my piece sans the notes and it was a straight from the heart one...and I'm sharing it with everybody.

Thank you all for coming to the wedding of Ligaya and Aivan. I am sure your presence will make this event even more special. I hope you also have a happy and memorable day just like the newlyweds.
Somebody told me, "I bet you will cry on your daughter's wedding day". Will I?
As a father, I would like to think that I have raised my children well. When they were younger, I used to write them letters and notes on special occasions. Almost always, they contain reminders for them to be the best that they can be.
I was a proud father when during a school commencement exercises, both of them were valedictorians of their respective grade levels. They were the best, and much more.
I remember when Lani was still in high school, on a Christmas, she learned that a classmate of hers would not be able to go home for the Christmas break because she had no money to spend for transportation to, if I remember right, Mindanao where her family was, then. Lani got here savings, out of the daily school allowance we give her, and gave it to her classmate. This classmate was able to be with her family that Christmas.
Also, I remembered, when Ligaya, this was in high school also, learned that a ninong of hers was retrenched from work, she asked me to accompany her to him, because she wanted to give him her savings, kay nalooy siya sa iya ninong. We did see him and she gave him her savings.
Yes, they did their best and they were the best as human beings also. I consider them as my life's greatest achievement.
Morag mapildi ko if I had accepted the bet about crying.
If I may add one more story about my daughters, every Christmas, in their younger years also, they hang stockings for and wrote letters to Santa Claus asking for gifts. Often, they received also letters from Santa telling them he could not give them what they were asking for because he had to use his money instead to buy gifts for other children who need gifts more than they do. Also with the letters, they would receive other things like chocolates, which they were told to share with the other children. One time, I remembered Ligaya commented that pareha lagi ug handwriting si Santa Claus ni Papa. They grew up believing in Santa Claus.
During one of our vacations in Bukidnon, my wife told Ligaya to get money from my wallet to buy something. Peeking into the contents of my wallet, she found a letter she wrote to Santa Claus. She kept the discovery all to herself, I didn't even know about it until much much later. So the Santa Claus thing went on some more years without me knowing that he had already been identified. Must be some Nancy Drew effects on Ligaya. She reads her books.
Also, they were often told: "You are the product of the choices you make". As young children, we parents made the choices for them. As they grew up, little by little, they were taught to make their own choices. As a father I knew where to lead them into. I was protective just like you parents out there. I had influence and control.
Now, the story becomes different. I remember one time, this was after Ligaya already finished college, she asked permission nga iya nang sugton si Aivan, after several years of courting her. And then after several more years, she told me of their plan to get married.
Today, I am father of the bride. This is something I did not look forward to. Earlier, as I walked her down the aisle, two things were on my mind: one, to continue walking and give her over to Aivan; the other, to drag her back into the car and go home. But her happiness prevailed upon me. I want her to be happy, and I know she is happy to be with Aivan.
So now, she is a married to Aivan. I have seen Aivan as hardworking and persevering. Lani wrote in her blog: she is not losing a sister, she is gaining a brother. That's right. Now, I have gained a son. So Aivan, welcome to the Family. All I say to you is : take good care of my daughter. Love her as much as we love her.
To Gay I say, even though you are already married, you are still my daughter. We have given you wings. You can fly, you can soar. But you can always fly back home.
To both of you I say;
Married life is not a bed of roses. There will be struggles and challenges. But together, you will overcome.
When there are conflicts, communication is important. But more than the talking, communication is primarily listening. As they say, listening is the beginning of understanding. Remember that your ears are above your mouth, and that your head is bigger than your mouth.
Respect each others views and opinions. If you disagree, do so without being disagreeable.
It takes two to tango. Both of you must make your marriage succeed.
The ship must only have one captain, if there are two, it gets nowhere.
There are many beautiful advice, you can find them everywhere.
Lastly, as before, I say: you are the product of the choices you make.
And one last thing, what about the bet? Thank you.

Many presidential candidates favor giving a hero's burial to former president Marcos. Why? Is he a hero? What has he done to the Philippines and to the Filipinos?
In the 1960's, the Philippines was next to Japan in Asia as an economic power. He became president during that time. He declared martial law in 1972 supposedly to stop the terrorist activities of the communists. [I firmly believe though that he declared martial law because of the ambition to perpetuate himself in power, being ineligible already for re-election after having served as president for two terms]. In 1986, when people power ousted him from his office, what, where, how was the Philippines compared with the other Asian countries?
In the 1960's, the Filipino practiced good manners, had delicadeza, would rather bear hunger than steal food. What about now? Then, the police and the military had discipline and courtesy. Now, how courteous are they? Before, the government employee serves the people, now, he acts like your boss, won't do his job if you don't give him extra.
Because of Mr. Marcos, the Philippines became what it is today. Because of him, the Filipino has lost his sense of what is right and wrong and lived with "what is good for me and my pocket".
The Filipino sense of values has been distorted. The Philippines and the Filipino is sick. This is the legacy of Mr. Marcos and his martial law.
Now, they want to give him a hero's burial?
My heart is crying out, NEVER!!!

Prosecutor mutiny at DOJ

I have just read this news item from Inquirer.net over the issue of acting Secretary Agra, appointed just last March, issuing a resolution clearing the governor and vice governor-both Ampatuans for the murders in the infamous Maguindanao massacre.
How could he, in such a short span of time, found out a position opposite to that found out by the state prosecutors assigned to the case who have been at it since November, when he assumed office only in March?
Something is not right, something stinks here. Does Malacanang, whom allegedly the accused are close to, and despite claims of distancing itself from the accused, have a hand in this?
I was not born yesterday.
Can the Honorable Secretary Agra look at the families of the victims in their eyes and tell them these Ampatuans are innocent?
Where is our sense of honor? What happened to our sense of decency?
You, honorable lawyers out there, wouldn't you lift a finger on this issue? And you, decent citizens, what do you think?
Must we, again, light a candle to see the sun?
Right now I feel depressed, angry and frustrated.

I was surfing the net early this morning, i woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep, and I came across a blog about a Mac owner who brought his unit to the store he bought it from, located in Makati, due to a battery problem. He was told that the problem had to be referred to Apple Singapore office. Several followups were made by him, each time he was given alibis for not having any positive response about his problem. To shorten the story, he found out that he was told lies by people from the Makati store after he personally got in touched with the Singapore office who informed him of the absence of any referral from Makati.
I was struck by this, because it is a reflection of what ails the Philippine society today. I have read a few days earlier about a foreign observer who mentioned about the Filipinos' damaged culture. Up front, I couldn't agree less. This is what is really happening to the Filipino, from the topmost of government, to the lowest level of society. Something is just not right. There is a loss of the sense of decency, honesty, respect, good manners, uprightness, integrity, etc.
This deterioration of our values is very evident in our daily dealings with people everywhere; in the workplace, in establishments, and worse with people in government offices. Of course, there are still many good people around, they may even be still the majority, but the actuations of the others on the opposite end of the spectrum are so observable, so visible that they seem to prevail. The deterioration is getting worse with time.
This decline has to be corrected because if not, I am afraid of where we as a country and as a people are heading to. I love this country, I want to still be a proud Pinoy.
GOD BLESS THE PHILIPPINES!

It's been sometime since my last post. This is something that's been playing in my mind.

Life is short. When it will end, we never know exactly, that is why it is important to tell the people that you love that you do and you have to do it now because tomorrow may be too late.

I am not a very expressive person as far as feelings are concerned, especially to my father and my brothers, but I try to express my feelings for them, that I care for them through my actions, through what I do for them. I just hope that they get the message.

My father is old, I know he won't be with us for that long anymore even if we want to. In the remaining years that he is still with us, I only want him to be happy. And what makes him happy?

I think that now, all he wants is to see his children and grandchildren around him. Bisag pobre, basta magkapundok lang gihapon. I remember the only time I saw him cry, early last year when he told me that Boy, was leaving for where, he didn't tell him, to get away from the problems that resulted from the 'misadventures' of his wife, and to find a living to support themselves. Yes, that was the only time I remember I saw my father cry.

He was very happy sometime August last year when Boy came home and would be working in the house which my other brother and his wife were constructing out from the retirement pay she just got. This bayaw just retired at age 50's.

Now that the house is almost done, what is next for Boy? This is what I had been thinking. I want to be able to start something that could provide livelihood for him and also Norman, something that the two of them love and want to do, maybe a food business or raising chicken, something that would provide them income and still be here with our father.

I hope I can do something for them, for my father...