Father of the Bride

October 25, 2010 is the wedding day of my eldest daughter, Ligaya. I was asked to give a remark for the bride's side. I prepared some notes, however, was unable to use it because the light at hall 1 of Grandcon was at party setting, quite dim for me. So I delivered my piece sans the notes and it was a straight from the heart one...and I'm sharing it with everybody.

Thank you all for coming to the wedding of Ligaya and Aivan. I am sure your presence will make this event even more special. I hope you also have a happy and memorable day just like the newlyweds.
Somebody told me, "I bet you will cry on your daughter's wedding day". Will I?
As a father, I would like to think that I have raised my children well. When they were younger, I used to write them letters and notes on special occasions. Almost always, they contain reminders for them to be the best that they can be.
I was a proud father when during a school commencement exercises, both of them were valedictorians of their respective grade levels. They were the best, and much more.
I remember when Lani was still in high school, on a Christmas, she learned that a classmate of hers would not be able to go home for the Christmas break because she had no money to spend for transportation to, if I remember right, Mindanao where her family was, then. Lani got here savings, out of the daily school allowance we give her, and gave it to her classmate. This classmate was able to be with her family that Christmas.
Also, I remembered, when Ligaya, this was in high school also, learned that a ninong of hers was retrenched from work, she asked me to accompany her to him, because she wanted to give him her savings, kay nalooy siya sa iya ninong. We did see him and she gave him her savings.
Yes, they did their best and they were the best as human beings also. I consider them as my life's greatest achievement.
Morag mapildi ko if I had accepted the bet about crying.
If I may add one more story about my daughters, every Christmas, in their younger years also, they hang stockings for and wrote letters to Santa Claus asking for gifts. Often, they received also letters from Santa telling them he could not give them what they were asking for because he had to use his money instead to buy gifts for other children who need gifts more than they do. Also with the letters, they would receive other things like chocolates, which they were told to share with the other children. One time, I remembered Ligaya commented that pareha lagi ug handwriting si Santa Claus ni Papa. They grew up believing in Santa Claus.
During one of our vacations in Bukidnon, my wife told Ligaya to get money from my wallet to buy something. Peeking into the contents of my wallet, she found a letter she wrote to Santa Claus. She kept the discovery all to herself, I didn't even know about it until much much later. So the Santa Claus thing went on some more years without me knowing that he had already been identified. Must be some Nancy Drew effects on Ligaya. She reads her books.
Also, they were often told: "You are the product of the choices you make". As young children, we parents made the choices for them. As they grew up, little by little, they were taught to make their own choices. As a father I knew where to lead them into. I was protective just like you parents out there. I had influence and control.
Now, the story becomes different. I remember one time, this was after Ligaya already finished college, she asked permission nga iya nang sugton si Aivan, after several years of courting her. And then after several more years, she told me of their plan to get married.
Today, I am father of the bride. This is something I did not look forward to. Earlier, as I walked her down the aisle, two things were on my mind: one, to continue walking and give her over to Aivan; the other, to drag her back into the car and go home. But her happiness prevailed upon me. I want her to be happy, and I know she is happy to be with Aivan.
So now, she is a married to Aivan. I have seen Aivan as hardworking and persevering. Lani wrote in her blog: she is not losing a sister, she is gaining a brother. That's right. Now, I have gained a son. So Aivan, welcome to the Family. All I say to you is : take good care of my daughter. Love her as much as we love her.
To Gay I say, even though you are already married, you are still my daughter. We have given you wings. You can fly, you can soar. But you can always fly back home.
To both of you I say;
Married life is not a bed of roses. There will be struggles and challenges. But together, you will overcome.
When there are conflicts, communication is important. But more than the talking, communication is primarily listening. As they say, listening is the beginning of understanding. Remember that your ears are above your mouth, and that your head is bigger than your mouth.
Respect each others views and opinions. If you disagree, do so without being disagreeable.
It takes two to tango. Both of you must make your marriage succeed.
The ship must only have one captain, if there are two, it gets nowhere.
There are many beautiful advice, you can find them everywhere.
Lastly, as before, I say: you are the product of the choices you make.
And one last thing, what about the bet? Thank you.