Keep Them Flying

This week has been quite heavy psychologically/emotionally for me. The people that matters most in my life are now telling me to tell the truth. Does it mean that I no longer have their trust? This hurts. This is the baggage that weigh down on me. If my wife does not trust me, I can bear it, but when it's my children that don't anymore, it causes tears.
My younger brother, Boy, had been thru a storm and still is. Their house and lot had been foreclosed because of unpaid debts, courtesy of his damn wife but with his signature on the collateral, and which by next month they have to vacate. Several people have been looking for his wife, who had gone away for over a year now, to demand payment of debts, in big amounts. Another lending company had filed a case against him and his wife also for unpaid debts. When asked by my father what he will do about it, he said that he and his 13 year old son have no other recourse but to go away and hide, because he can't pay the debt. My father then offered his little savings, although not enough, to pay for the debt. I volunteered to put up what is lacking so that the case against him will be dropped, and he and his son don't have to go away anymore. This I did because I know that my father would rather have his four children, although having their own families already, living near and around him. Our father is 82 years old.
So, we paid the lending company, a little over a hundred thousand. Because my brother had no means of livelihood now, his little aluminum casting business had gone down also, I also offered to shoulder the tuition fee of his son. Although his daughter has a job, I know that my family's budget for half month is bigger than her monthly salary and what with three mouths to feed. My 13 year old nephew may not be able to continue his studies without other support. These things were known to my family.
Then one day, Boy and his son passed by our father's place and told him that they were leaving but without telling him where to. But we know that they will be back because Boy had ask a niece to enrol his son.
One morning, coming home from work at about 4:30 am, my wife asked me the whereabouts of the money that was put in the drawer, why only a little was left. I told her that that was all that was left after paying the lending company. Then, I went to sleep.
My wife woke me up at about 11 am and again asked me about the money. Deep inside I was irked because I was awakened from sleep just for that question. They all know that I don't want to be awakened from sleep especially in the shift that I am now in where I hardly, if ever, get enough sleep. I told her what I said to her that morning. But she kept on asking what other things I spent the money on. She was even murmuring wa ra bay aso makumkom. God!
Maybe she thought I secretely gave Boy some money to use for their travel because she knew early on that Boy wanted to borrow money from my other brother but was denied. Boy did not have any money from me. I wanted to give him three thousand earlier when I learned that he was unable to borrow money from our other brother, but he refused it. He told me ayaw lang manoy even though, I know, he needed it, maybe because he knew I still have to spend for his son's coming enrolment.
Maybe my wife is afraid that Boy might abuse my kindness, but I know him better, he's my brother. I know he has his own faults, but being an opportunist is not one of them.
I don't blame my daughters for maybe thinking the way my wife thinks. Whenever Boy and our youngest brother's names are mentioned in our conversations, almost always my wife talks about their faults and imperfections. Seldom is mentioned anything positive about them. Maybe this often mention of negative things about my two brothers had created a negative image of them in the minds of my daughters.
But does this explain why they think I gave money to Boy and hid this from them?
I am the eldest of us four brothers. Even if I already have my own family, they still are family to me. If I can help them rebuild their lives, I would. If there is anything I can do to help them stand on their own, I would do it. And there's no reason to hide it, if any, from my family.
Writing this has somehow eased the pain. It is almost 1am. Maybe I can sleep better now.