emotions

I woke up at 4:30 this morning. Since I didn't feel sleepy anymore [Iwent to bed at 8 last night], I went to the sala intending to finally view Prison Break 3 on dvd, but when I saw the laptop, I changed my mind. I opened it and went to limewire and started to download christmas songs by the carpenters. When the first song 'merry Christmas darling' was completed, I played it while continuing to download. Completed next was 'I'll be home for Christmas'. I then played it next. When it started playing, I suddenly felt nostalgic and thought about my daughter who is studying in Manila. I imagined how she would feel hearing this song. I know she's homesick. I read about it in her blog which I saw last night just before going to bed. I couldn't help it, tears fell down my eyes. I feel the homesickness of my daughter, and I miss her.

I last saw her in August in Manila just before I went back to Cebu after my training there. We were also together going home to Cebu for his Lolo's birthday, August 24, for a surprise visit by her, and were also together going back to Manila, me to continue my training and her to go back to UP for her studies.

I don't know why, but since the time both of my daughters left home, this was last year, to pursue their studies, one going to Silliman for her pgi, and the other to UP for her master's, I easily feel nostalgia. Tears are very easy to come by. Their going away simultaneously sort of shocked me. I was fully aware that one day they will have to live their own lives, but still I was not really fully prepared for it. The realization that both of them are now away from us was slow to sink in, and, together with it, the feeling of loneliness, the feeling of having lost precious possessions slowly creeped in also. I know they're just away, and not gone. I know that this was just temporary, but the feeling of missing them is hard to control. Emotions sometimes gets the better of you, and you can't help it but give away few drops of tears.

Now, Ligaya is back home after completing her stint at Silliman, but Lani is still in Manila, for how long, I am not sure, but she'll be back home soon.

She's coming home this Christmas, December 17 to be exact, and that's only a few days more. We eagerly await that day, and who knows, she may even have a chance to come home before that date. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

We will all be together again, that's a fact, and until then, blogs and cellphones will ease and release the emotions.